The Superbowl Halftime Spectacular – Some Thoughts

6 Feb

Cee Lo Green - A Monk in disguise?

Tom Brady heaved up a last-second hailmary that hung in the air for a few seconds before coming down like a pinecone, hitting the back of a player, and landing just out of the reach of Rob Gronkowski, the highly touted 22-year-old Patriots’ tight end whose bad ankle was a frequent topic of discussion over the last two weeks leading up to the game. If the laws of gravity were not firm on this Earth, and for a moment they ceased on the football, levitating the ball after it hit off the player’s back for just a few moments, Gronkowski would have caught up to it, made the catch, and the game would have ended in the Patriots’ favor. But football is a game of seconds and inches. He was a foot away, and when people look back at this superbowl years from now the only thing that will matter is the Giants’ victory. As a Jets fan, I congratulate the Giants on an excellent run and superbowl victory, but admit my obvious jealousy – as I did in my last post about the superbowl. Here’s to hoping I one day see the Jets win!

In that last superbowl post, I introduced a poll that compared a Boston band and New Jersey band. In that poll, Bruce and the boys prevailed over the Tyler gang. New Jersey victorious twice. But what about the singer born in Michigan. Was she succesful?

Of course, I am talking about the woman above, Madonna, and she headlined a superbowl halftime show that was perhaps one of the most bedazzling displays of unbridled gaudiness I have ever seen. The pervasive theme was Egyptian queen, I guess, and Madonna, who is 53, played her part well, performing with energy and spunk, and hosting an odd concoction of musician cameos throughout, so much that someone commented that they were just about ready to expect Elton John, who is in a perpetual feud with the blonde Scorpion King, to stroll on stage in bedizened garb to accompany her…instead we got Cee Lo (he is awesome though, so, no complaints).

Suck it, Gaga

For more photos from the event go here. As I was watching it, I jotted down a few mental notes that I will now share with you:

– So, considering the Roman soldiers, and Madonna’s Egyptian throne, we are setting our tale in like 30 BCE or so after the Romans took over Egypt, I guess, wait, why the hell am I trying to provide a historical perspective on a halftime superbowl show. Ancient Romans would have watched the game for upwards of 10 minutes prior to getting exceptionally upset that masked men/wild beasts weren’t murdering prisoners on the playing field.

– “Vogue” and “Like a Prayer,” two predictable songs, but good choices from her diverse selection of pop hits. I approve. Also, smart move with the vocal track. After the Black Eyed Peas demonstrated a sharp lack of talent last year, they were not going to make a similar mistake.

– The projection on the field by the stage: INCREDIBLE. At one point, the video turns to the field being sucked in and, holy god, that is so freaking awesome. That made the show, but, wait…

The Bad-ass Richard Simmons

– This Guy! Madonna almost took a tumble on the bleachers in her 17-inch heels and the performance was becoming a little trite and then Andy Lewis, Slackline extraordinaire, started bouncing up and down on a tightrope dressed as the Greek god Hermes. The show became interesting again after he sprung himself up in the air and landed straight on his privates. OUCH. He is a professional, though, and said he was doing just fine.

– Singer cameos. LMFAO made an appearance – I feel like they always make an appearance – and they were comical to look at but they didn’t provide much.

– Then, Madonna took on her new song and by goodness it is awful. Like awfully awful. Like so fatuous and unhealthy that I had to look away. It is some play on cheerleading, I guess, and she was joined on stage by Roman-clad rappers Nicki Minaj and MIA, which brings me to my last observation and point (because Cee Lo’s appearance speaks for itself).

– CAN THE SUPERBOWL HALFTIME SHOW COMMITTEE STOP GETTING PERFORMERS WHO WILL INEVITABLY SPARK CONTROVERSY DURING THE HALFTIME SHOW! I put this in all caps for a reason. I feel like the committee is stupid or just completely ignorant. MIA is a known protestor and instigator who wants to make a scene. Her middle finger was tame. We should be lucky she didn’t expose herself like Janet Jackson. My point. If you are going to bring in a performer like MIA, you have a tape delay for a reason. Use it and censor the finger if you know it’s going to spark a controversy. Honestly, I don’t care that she exposed the bird. I thought the uproar over the Jackson boob-gate was idiotic as well. But people ARE going to make a big deal about it so obviate the issue. Don’t bring in performers like MIA if you don’t want it to happen.

Who do you want to see headline next year’s superbowl?

2 Responses to “The Superbowl Halftime Spectacular – Some Thoughts”

  1. John Phillips February 6, 2012 at 8:56 pm #

    Agree on MIA. Missed it all though, might have watched it for Cee-Lo. To me Madonna is a spent force, one that I could barely tolerate at 33 let alone 53. Very predictable at this point as well.

  2. Matthew Coleman February 7, 2012 at 11:41 am #

    Yeah, I was trying to be as objective as possible with the star performer, even though I don’t particular like her as a musician

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