Ah. the monday of the week of Thanksgiving, so close to going home for the holiday, yet, quite literally so far away. Looking at the several hours of driving I will be partaking in over the next couple of days would usually make me cringe, but heck I got music and I will be driving with my brother and girlfriend so it should be virtually painless.
But, do you know what is painful? “Christmas on Death Row,” my choice for the worst and most utterly hilarious Christmas album ever recorded ever. The vote was a tie at one between only three of the potential albums, which I will admit are also quite terrible. Yes, something about this miserable album of the most cheery and happy songs of all time being recorded by musicians with names like Bad Azz and 6 Feet Deep just leaves me wondering, was this needed.
How can a Christmas music album have a Parental Advisory warning. Well, I guess one should listen to "Baby, it's Cold Outside," which may need a warning. Yes, it's rape!
You see I am confused. Besides the tremendous first track, “Santa Claus Goes Straight To The Ghetto,” put together by Snoop Doggy Dog, because that is what Snoop does, most other songs are normal Christmas tracks. We have “Silent Night,” “Frosty the Snowman,” and even the most beautiful Christmas melody, “Party 4 Da Homies.” I feel like I am Wayne Brady on “Whose Line is it Anyway,” being instructed by the pleasantly plump new Price is Right host to make up crafty lyrics to a made up song. But, these songs exist and they were cut, put together and made into an album. An album that sold 200,000 copies. 200,000! Well, it was for charity, but come on let us do the charity and yourself a favor and just donate the money straight to the charity, so nobody has to hear 6 Feet Deep sing “Frosty The Snowman.” Well, actually, if one looks at this song it may be just quite crafty. Frosty does inevitably seep into the ground in a post-Christmas melt.
The fact is, these musicians may be talented, but recording “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” under an artist title that suggests death is just funny. Funny to the point that, however painful the music is, you find yourself hysterically laughing at the absolute absurdity of the music being played and the artist’s titles. Heck, if it was for a good joke then it is well taken, but, please, if this was at all serious, leave the Christmas music to musicians like Bing Crosby, Johnny Marks, Irving Berlin, Nat King Cole, and, of course, The Brady Bunch (joke on the last one).
The Music Court 
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