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Things to Never Do: Worst Album Titles

9 Mar

Album titles are tricky. Rarely are musicians able to both create landmark music and exceptional album titles. There are not many examples. Dark Side of the Moon is both a remarkable display of music and a tremendous album title.

So, what makes Dark Side of the Moon a good album title? Better yet, what makes album titles terrible?

Dark Side of the Moon holds a special quality in that it is referenced in the music itself, impeccably (may I add). But, taking only the album title into account, let’s analyze why it works. First, it is short and to the point. Often album titles drag on, but, in order to be effective, titles need to be catchy. Catchy generally means short and easy to remember. Why do you think the best rhythms are always the most simple?

Album titles cannot be overly pretentious either. For example, any album title that makes substantial claims like “this music is awesome” tells the listener that the music is going to be arrogant and condescending. It also will probably suck. And, on the opposite end of the spectrum, don’t be an idiot and misspell words. Seriously, do not!

Also, don’t you just hate album covers that are extremely nebulous and confusing? Seriously, who wants to be confused by the album title. It doesn’t make me want to buy an album. Think of some other great album titles. The White Album, Nevermind, American Beauty. Simple and straight forward. I like that. But, also, album titles that are just dumbed down like Madonna’s Music are terrible. Seriously, we know it’s music because it’s a freaking album.

Here are five album titles I dislike strongly.

1.) When the pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king
What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight
And he’ll win the whole thing ‘fore he enters the ring
There’s no body to batter when your mind is your might
So when you go solo, you hold your own hand
And remember that depth is the greatest of heights
And if you know where you stand, then you know where to land
And if you fall it won’t matter, cause you’ll know that you’re right By, Fiona Apple

Yeah, I’m serious. This is the full album title. It is one of the longest album titles of all time. Chumbawamba has an 865-character album. Here is my issue with long album titles. I do not want to disparage Apple’s poetry, but it does not belong as the album’s title. Stick it in the liner notes as an addition. This is the opposite of a short, catchy album title. I wonder if anyone has memorized the full album title. Do those people refer to the album in full (as opposed to simply When The Pawn, the fragmented used title). Oh, did you hear the new Fiona Apple album. When the pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king… The abridged version is like Pi. Easier just to cut it to 3.14.

2.) The Ego Has Landed by, Robbie Williams

Robbie didn’t listen to me. This is beyond pretentious. He just flat out says that his ego has landed. Really?

3.) Julie’s Sixteenth Birthday by, John Bult

This takes the cake for two categories (like the b-day reference). The album cover is just weird, pedophilia-esque. This must have been a really bad birthday, like criminally bad. The album title is also terrible. Julie’s Sixteenth Birthday. How can that translate into good music? We are put in a place where we do not want to be, Julie’s horrible birthday party.

4.) The M-Pire Shrikez Back by Originoo Gunn Clappaz

Well, the band name is spelled wrong, so I guess a misspelled title was sort of inevitable. But, really? I am not too worried with the M-Pire part. Hell, that is some creative input. But, shrikez. That’s not English, it’s gibberish. I don’t mind one misspelling, but a terrible one that makes no sense is inexcusable.

5.) Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water by Limp Bizkit

This album sold 1.05 million copies in its first week. Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water. This has to be the worst album title ever. It does everything wrong. It is not catchy, it’s stupid and it completely turns you off to everything. It is just gross. Why are we talking about hot dog flavored water. We should never talk about that. And look at the little people on the album cover. They are bathing in hot dogs. Why? This is the quintessential example of the confusing album title. What the hell does this mean? Not much, obviously. I mean it is Limp Bizkit

“You’re Gonna Miss Me” by 13th Floor Elevators – Early Psychedelic Garage Rock

8 Mar

Okocim issued a challenge in his last post. He posed the broad question, what is the 60’s psychedelic music? As a single question, I believe it is impossible to answer. The genre expanded into many sub-sections and there is not one sole example of 60’s psychedelic music that I can give to him and say this is your answer. The sub-sections make 60’s psychedelic music unique. Because, in itself, psychedelic cannot be a genre. Psychedelic becomes a genre when it pairs with a type of music (like rock or pop). Therefore, the music is always perpetuating more sub genres because in order to survive it needs to. Following my thinking?

This is why I find psychedelic music (specifically of the 60s variety) to be so intriguing. Psychedelic, in itself, can be esoteric and abstruse. In order to make rock or pop psychedelic, a musician needs to add an oddness to the melodic structure, thereby expanding the listeners mind. Yes, a lot has to do with drugs, but a perfectly sober listener (like myself) can get just as much out of it. The music itself is a drug.

I could not turn down Okocim’s challenge though. I proposed in my comment to him a new sub-section of “Journey To The Center of the Mind” called “The 60’s Psychedelic Experiment.” Damn, this post already sounds like “Inception,” a section inside a genre inside a section. That is what psychedelic music is, in a way. It delves deep into music’s structure, like a genetic mutation, and morphs it into something different (either slightly or tremendously).

I am going to answer Okocim’s question of what is 60’s psychedelic music by exploring different songs by different artists over the course of several weeks, answering the question of what makes it “psychedelic” and what specific genre it finds itself swimming in. We begin with one of the aboriginal psychedelic bands, hailing from Texas (starting in 1965), the 13th Floor Elevators.

At the beginning of the psychedelic rock revolution, the psychedelic garage rock component was strong. Garage rock is generally raw and easily tourable. It needs no special studio effects and is solid the way it is. This made it an easy for psychedelic music to manipulate. It was not the first of its kind, this still being reserved for psychedelic folk that came on the scene 1-2 years earlier. But, it is the first example of psychedelic rock. The Cream and the Beatles would explore psychedelic attributes in their music at around the same time, but of the limited examples of 1965-66 psychedelic music, “You’re Gonna Miss Me,” the 13th Floor Elevators 1966 single, is the best example of early psychedelic garage rock (a sub-section of a sub-section).

Now when I say garage rock, I am talking about the genre that formed in the late 50s, but really blossomed in 1963. Think of “Louie, Louie” by the Kingsmen. It is that ol’fashioned rock. That’s why many consider garage rock to be the distant ancestor of punk, because of its chordal simplicity.

13th Floor Elevators came on the scene two years after garage rock’s blossoming and they transformed the genre with a psychedelic component.

The question posed by Okocim is basically what makes this (and any other song during the time period) 60’s psychedelic and how did it help form the term “60’s psychedelic music” which is just way to large to ever conquer.

Well, the first four chords sounds like a variation of the Yardbirds “For Your Love” which was released a year earlier. The guitar is amplified with a little reverb and a slight echo. Their bluesy sound is original. Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top cites the guitar work as inspirational.

At around 6 seconds, you hear this muffled noise in the background of Roky Erickson and Stacy Sutherland Gibson guitars. That is an electric jug of Tommy Hall. Hall created vocalized sound with the jug that gave each song an underground stutter. This is paired with Erickson’s powerful voice (with bluesy screams).

Hall also inspired band members to record and perform music while on LSD, which was unique during the time.

The best psychedelic rock example occurs at the breakdown at 1:30. Listen to the combination of time. The electric jug competes with the drums while the voices sing “I’m Not Coming Home.” This takes in the psychedelic effect. The jug combined with the reverbed guitars do this. It is garage psychedelic because it is simple, but, it is different from typical garage rock examples because it adds different elements that make the music more acid-inspired and art-based.

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Beirut

6 Mar

Your sub-conscience can be a bitch… especially when using magic. As avid of a spell caster as I am, I still once in a while try to bite more [magic cookie] than I can chew. The result is my thoughts turning against me, forcing me to simultaneously fend them off while remaining socially acceptable. This is usually attempted via plenty of laughter and some very confusing dialogue most likely involving meta-physics.

Nothing like a friendly music exploring session turning into an exercise in masking your insanity to remind you why you always tell yourself this is the last time. Magic is a hell of a drug. Besides, sometimes thinking that everyone living in your house is just a figment of your imagination is definitely healthy for the soul… even if it has you shaking in half fear. It’s all in a good night’s fun.

Basically, Matt and I decided to have a music listening and sharing session, and I decided to eat a [magic cookie] or x3. Stuff happened, whether really, or in my mind… who knows?

But magic serves its purposes, which is how I, with Matt as my witness, bring to you a brand new term which will rock the very foundations of the internet.

Get ready.

There were hardcore breakdowns, which turn any song super heavy.

Then I invented chill breakdowns, which turn any song super relaxing.

And now I bring you…

A Folk Breakdown, which turns any song… super… ethnic?

I have but one example.

Pay no attention to the song, it’s really good at best, and wait till about 2:10 for the folk breakdown. It’s the sound of some random couple fighting in some foreign language in what could be a short clip from a foreign film set somewhere in some south-eastern European village. And it makes so much sense.

You listen to folk music because you want to connect with your roots and get a feeling for what your ancestors listened to, right? That’s what the name implies anyway because actually, most folk music is actually pretty modern and simply uses old instruments to get that folk sound. But regardless, you are connecting with the sound and you maybe picture in your head some rural villages and farm people.

And now, when this folk breakdown hits you are transported instantly into a scenario taking place in this imaginary rural village. It’s like watching a foreign movie without having to struggle to understand what’s going on because the music does all the speaking. I see it being used a lot more in the future…

And now, let’s backtrack to the actual music, because Beirut is a pretty good band. It started out as a solo project by a New Mexican sporting a mesmerizingly epic voice, a man by the name of Zach Condon. The band is characterized as combining elements of eastern European and Balkan folk sounds with that of mainstream western pop to create this really good music. The mixture of this with the man’s singing and the instruments creates this music that almost sounds unreal. The instruments used range from ukuleles to tubas and from violins to accordions. In your mind you want to picture a band of gypsies or like farmers from an unspecified hovel in Yugoslavia, but in reality it’s just a band of American hipsters being ironic.

But who cares? I cannot stress how awesome this man’s voice is. It is perfect for that Eastern European/ Balkan vibe. And me being ethnically Polish, it is something which I completely dig, down to my very core and roots. Previous to seeing a video of the singer, I always pictured him as some drunken old man, with an amazing voice for his age, wearing a flat cap and a grey suit, singing about some great revolution he partook in, somewhere in Poland.  And that’s the beauty of folk music. It’s specific to ethnic region. You can have folk music for every region on the planet. I’m starting Long Island Folk.

And as an added bonus – folk music is also educational! Why pay attention in history class when folk music tells you everything you’d need to know about it plus more. History class can’t convey the feeling of the olden days dammit!

Here is another song before I wrap this up.

The 3/4 polka intro mixed with the awe-inspiring vocals and the trumpets just get me every time. Like some weird but friendly dream unfolding around you. And when the bass drops I am transported to some rebel Polish army preparing to orchestrate a coup to take back the country sometime during the late 19th century. Truly a beautiful sound if you ask me. And I was also convinced that Mount Wroclai was an actual place in Poland that I’ve been to, until I tried to look it up just now. It seems that I imagined it. Folk music is heavy stuff I guess.

-oko

P.S. Before you ask about my sanity, please first have Matt explain what the hell 60’s psychedelic is all about, because that had me straight out terrified. My thoughts the other night were something like “Are these bands f*cking with me? Were people really that happy during the 60’s? How many drugs were involved in the making of this? And why does all of this sound like it’s not real?” Sorry Matt if I seemed confused towards the end, I was just making sure you weren’t spewing out pre-determined responses. Gotta make reality checks somehow…

&&&&&&&)

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Thursday Morning Psychedelia

3 Mar

Generally, Thursday’s are reserved for music news, but in viewing the stock of potential items I have decided that none of it is that exciting. Billy Joel’s memoir is coming out in June. That’s about it. So, instead of boring you all with unexciting news items, here is The Move performing my psychedelic song choice of the day, “Blackberry Way”

Yes, that is Roy Wood, who would form ELO after his stay with the Move. Wood wrote “Blackberry Way” as a response to the Beatles’ “Penny Lane.” As you can hear, it is gloomier and definitely more strung out. The singer is Carl Wayne whose accented voice works perfectly for the song.

Ever since first hearing this song, I have always liked something about it. It does not blow you away. It is very weak on the psychedelia, even though it does fit into the category of Psychedelic Rock. Perhaps, it is the song’s simplicity that I enjoy. It was The Move’s most successful single (reaching number one on the UK charts). I believe it garnered such attention because it was not an over-the-top release. It is what it is and what it is, is good.

Toro Y Moi – Underneath the Pine

27 Feb

As I drove home in the early hours of the morning it was already getting bright outside. I immediately began feeling extreme nostalgia for irresponsible summers of past. But this time I was not under the influence of any magic, simply arriving home from a tiring shift delivering food. But that feeling… maybe I was just tired… but I felt like I was under some sort of influence, my thoughts highly irresponsible in an animated fashion, yet that of a Buddhist-monk in caliber. Maybe it was a warm-flashback?

But it also was around 6am, the time when the human body ‘resets’. Whether it is due to our own internal mind clocks or some cosmic energy playing around with us, this time of the day is hands down the most psychedelic. It’s most noticeable if you haven’t gone to bed, which could explain some things, but I like to think that it’s the time when human thoughts or souls are synced up to destiny or reality, sort of like an ipod syncing to its itunes library. Basically, it’s the time when everything falls back onto track after a weekend night of debauchery. As I lay to fall asleep, my contact-less eyes were seeing strange fuzzy orbs of light. Although they weren’t as brilliant as geometric shapes I’d seen before, it made me realize that things like this are all around us and how much, as a people, we still don’t know about.

So basically today was the first time I woke up at 4pm in a long time. Definitely now considering a career change… or fewer hours anyway.

I’m not sure if the Radiohead hype has died down yet… I hope it has… because today I’ve got a real psychedelic treat for all of you. Shortly after listening to The King of Limbs, I heard Toro Y Moi’s Underneath the Pine, and let me tell you that I was thoroughly impressed, to the point where I can call it my favorite of the year so far.

Toro Y Moi is the stage name of Chazwick Bundick, a super chill fellow from North Carolina. He was one of the original driving forces behind the chill wave of summer ’10. I’ve already described chillwave thoroughly with my Washed Out review, and while Toro Y Moi’s older music was verbatim that, apparently his newer stuff has already departed that.

Talks on the internet have it that ‘Chillwave’ is already dying. That effing internet hipster who invented the damn term, Carles, is speculating that this might be so based on Pitchfork’s review of the album and their refusal to use the term.

I personally do not want chillwave to die. I think it’s a really chill and appropriate title for such music. Although it’s a sort of a half-bastard internet spawn, I feel like it has the potential of becoming the next psychedelic genre. It’s all about slow, vibacious, synth-saturated, chill-out tunes that make you feel like nothing matters in the world. 60’s psychedelia anyone? I honestly feel like this newest Toro Y Moi album is all of that, but it also adds a layer of rock, which in my mind simply completes the genre. I really see it going places in this current state.

The song above Still Sound is the single off the album, and isn’t it groovy? The bassline just tells you to grab a seat and relax, while the layered and echoed vocals coax you to sing along, despite the fact that they are unintelligible. The quiet synths flow and ebb like a pretty tide and that one tambourine or something just completes the beat for me. About halfway through a chill breakdown lets your spirit leave your body, albeit temporarily, before the beat snaps back and the song finishes. This song will grow on you quickly.

And the rest of the songs on this album are on the same level. I personally really like the song Go with you.

This song is much more relaxed than the previous, but similar in many ways as well. I really like the crunchy keyboard in the background and the tape delay on his voice during the refrain. It’s a very strange song but it makes sense in some sort of chill manner. I also really like the ending, the perfect groove, probably why I like this song so much.

I give this album a 7.08/7.25

A perfect album for just hanging out and enjoying the times.

I am also very anxious to see what the rest of this year will harbor for chillwave. The possibilities are endless! Talks of new Washed Out and Neon Indian are turning the rumor wheels. Maybe even my solo LP will be finished. lol

And going back to this whole morning business, (I am on the verge of passing our right now, too much chillwave) I will leave you with a challenge of sorts. About a year ago my Uncle told me that if at the moment of sunrise you are looking north and that there is a mirror placed at the corner of your eye you will see crazy things in your peripherals. I haven’t tried it yet because it sounds scary and peripheral hallucinations are a proven thing (and i have them them often enough as it is). But one day I will try this and most likely I will be listening to chillwave to calm my anxiety.

zzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZ

-oko

-.-

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