Court Polls Christmas: Christmas on Death Row

23 Nov

Ah. the monday of the week of Thanksgiving, so close to going home for the holiday, yet, quite literally so far away. Looking at the several hours of driving I will be partaking in over the next couple of days would usually make me cringe, but heck I got music and I will be driving with my brother and girlfriend so it should be virtually painless.

But, do you know what is painful? “Christmas on Death Row,” my choice for the worst and most utterly hilarious Christmas album ever recorded ever. The vote was a tie at one between only three of the potential albums, which I will admit are also quite terrible. Yes, something about this miserable album of the most cheery and happy songs of all time being recorded by musicians with names like Bad Azz and 6 Feet Deep just leaves me wondering, was this needed.

How can a Christmas music album have a Parental Advisory warning. Well, I guess one should listen to "Baby, it's Cold Outside," which may need a warning. Yes, it's rape!

You see I am confused. Besides the tremendous first track, “Santa Claus Goes Straight To The Ghetto,” put together by Snoop Doggy Dog, because that is what Snoop does, most other songs are normal Christmas tracks. We have “Silent Night,” “Frosty the Snowman,” and even the most beautiful Christmas melody, “Party 4 Da Homies.” I feel like I am Wayne Brady on “Whose Line is it Anyway,” being instructed by the pleasantly plump new Price is Right host to make up crafty lyrics to a made up song. But, these songs exist and they were cut, put together and made into an album. An album that sold 200,000 copies. 200,000! Well, it was for charity, but come on let us do the charity and yourself a favor and just donate the money straight to the charity, so nobody has to hear 6 Feet Deep sing “Frosty The Snowman.” Well, actually, if one looks at this song it may be just quite crafty. Frosty does inevitably seep into the ground in a post-Christmas melt.

The fact is, these musicians may be talented, but recording “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” under an artist title that suggests death is just funny. Funny to the point that, however painful the music is, you find yourself hysterically laughing at the absolute absurdity of the music being played and the artist’s titles. Heck, if it was for a good joke then it is well taken, but, please, if this was at all serious, leave the Christmas music to musicians like Bing Crosby, Johnny Marks, Irving Berlin, Nat King Cole, and, of course, The Brady Bunch (joke on the last one).

Bestowing The Crown #1: Regina Spektor

22 Nov

Hey there,

It’s Amanda here and I’m writing a new post called “Bestowing the Crown”. Basically, I think that female artists don’t get enough attention in the music world. It seems like in all genres, rock, country, hip-hop, female artists often get overshadowed by male counterparts. So I’d like to use this post to call attention to some girl talent, past and present. I’ll give some spotlight to both well-know and up-and-coming female musicians, thereby bestowing the crown on those who deserve to wear it.

This week I’d like to talk about one of my favorite singers, Regina Spektor. Her newest album Far came out a little while ago, and you may have heard her single Laughing With on the radio. She is a pianist, singer and songwriter, producing words and melodies that can pull at anyone’s heartstrings. More so, Spektor is one of the most hard-core artists around. How so? Well, as a kid she listened to rock and roll cassettes of the Beatles and Queen. Cassettes that her father traded illegally. Cassettes that her father traded illegally in Soviet Russia. Yeah, it’s not like Regina’s family would have been sent to the gulags anytime soon for that, but I still think it’s pretty bad-a**.

As Jews in Russia, Spektor and her family endured religious persecution, and left when Regina was nine. They immigrated to New York, where the young musician would study classical piano. She’d soon branch out into other genres, and found her creative niche in songwriting. She also figured out how to play piano while simultaneously swigging a flask of vodka.  Okay just kidding about the vodka. I’ll stop with the Russian jokes.

Regina is unlike any other artist in the music industry. She’s pretty much a human synthesizer of hip-hop, punk, classical, folk, and jazz music. She has an incredibly broad vocal range which works marvelously in both sweet melodies and kitschy tunes. Spektor’s songs are stories in their own right. She’s simply unafraid to express what she wants to express, following her own path. She has this amazing ability to convey everything from heartache to sarcasm with a single line.

If you’d like to explore more of Regina Spektor, my favorite tracks include “Fidelity”, “Sampson” and “The Music Box”. She’s certainly worthy of praise, and that’s why she’s the receiver of this week’s crown.

“On the Radio”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q4tDkCPzgw

Court Links: Ringo’s Talking Head

20 Nov

I don’t care what anyone says, I like Ringo Starr.

What is there not to like, he was a Beatle, he is talented, and he seems like a genuine nice guy. Starr continues to release albums for the love of music and he does it with class, and other musicians. On his new release, the closest thing we all have to a Beatles’ reunion comes true with a Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr duet which will certainly require a listen. Also featured on the album are musicians like Joe Walsh and Ben Harper.

Link: http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/story/starr-duets-with-mccartney-on-new-album_1123072

You know who I also like, The Talking Heads. I also like interesting concerts on German rock television shows. I also like the song “I Zimbra,” which may sound and look like gibberish, but is actually adapted from a poem by Dadaist poet Hugo Ball. And, would you look at that, this link has everything.

Link: http://www.fark.com/cgi/vidplayer.pl?IDLink=4782230

 

Court Polls: Christmas

19 Nov

I caved. It is not even Thanksgiving and the need for Holiday cheer (not to mention the perpetual playlist) has led to a disgusting amount of Christmas music played on the radio. It seems as if this holiday begins earlier every year. Eventually, Christmas will end, we will celebrate New Years, and then we will have Christmas preparation for the entire year following. Every year will be Christmas, it will be a year-long event.

People have great memories of the holidays. I celebrate Hanukkah (so Anthony likes to poke fun at me that I will never have the experience of running down and seeing presents under a tree) but it does not matter what holiday you celebrate, there is just something about the time. The weather is cold, you sit bundled up in a warm blanket with hot cocoa and presents, wrapped up and mysterious. You may know what you are going to get, you annoyed your parents enough about that new video game, but there is still this sense of the unknown. There is sincere excitement. It does not matter how old you are. The holiday season is just wonderful.

But, does it need to start so soon. I want to be able to stuff my face with my grandmother’s stuffing before I have to start listening to Christmas cheer. I like getting the gluttony out of my system first. So, in honor of the early Christmas music, the Music Court will start off the holiday right with a poll about Christmas albums…The Worst Christmas Albums Ever!

There are a lot of worthy candidates. Do your research and make a choice. I know it will take me a while to decide. Good Luck!

Song of the Day #68: “First Floor People,” by Barcelona

18 Nov

Folks, I am experiencing a serious unintentional problem. I am apparently obsessed with Seattle, Washington bands and performers. Maybe, just maybe, there is a mass conspiracy and the only state releasing new artists is the northern Pacific, coffee fueled, rainy Washington, but, I must assume that I am just falling into the trap of Seattle music.

Seattle has been consistent in their musicians. They are talented, melodic, and smart. Not all of them, but most certainly most of them. So, today, I bring you Barcelona, a recent piano-based band whose brand of indie rock is both haunting and horrifyingly catchy. I think that is why I listen to so much Seattle music. You see, coffee is addicting. You drink a few cups and you become hooked, needing your daily dose to wake you up and eliminate any withdrawal. Same with music from Seattle. You need your daily dosage. Some people may like Starbucks, Seattle’s Best, heck even Folgers, but my current bean of choice is Barcelona.

“First Floor People,” is one of those songs that people easily skip over on an album. It does not attract much attention to itself as a quiet piece with a strung-out piano and an odd vocal. But, take one listen, and like Seattle coffee you are hooked. The first line that sings the title of the song will immediately stick itself to your mind and you will find yourself singing it over and over again. The song, which appears on their album “Absolutes,” definitely deserves a listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZozapblQAys.

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